Christmas Knots

By Christina Cran, Founder of Wee Seeds

There was a big knot. It was stuck in my chest, ever expanding, growing hour by hour. This knot is known to me. It might be known to you? It’s called a variety of names, often different ones depending on the time year. This knot is called To Do, it’s also nicknamed Lists, Must Get, Have To. It also goes by the name of Gift for the Teacher, Christmas Cards, Is It Christmas Jumper Day?, Work Night Out. When it’s feeling self-important, it’s Present List, Christmas Food Shopping. When it’s worried, it’s called How To Pay For It All and How To Keep Everyone Happy? Occasionally it’s scared or lonely and calls itself Why?

Lumped together, this knot is called Christmas.

I’d been plodding along until then. We’re working hard at Wee Seeds, all on a voluntary basis, to find funding to build the next version of our toolbox, and developing our BOGOA model. I’ve also a day-job, working as a Third Sector PR with some amazing charity clients, so I’ve been getting on with that, nipping out to buy the odd present here and there.

Maybe it was putting up our Christmas tree that brought the knot to life? Or perhaps the string of WhatsApp messages about Christmas Jumper Day? Or the long list of work that doesn’t seem to get finished?

But for whatever reason, this Knot of Many Names appeared suddenly out of the blue.

It hurt. It weighed me down. It made my mind feel foggy. Suddenly I couldn’t think. Everything seems harder and more complicated. For a few hours it sat there, growing from a knot into a ball of anxiety, its many names running amok through my head. Snowballing until…

…until I realised what was happening. Giving this feeling a name was feeding it, giving it energy, making it grow. So instead of letting my head run away with my thoughts, I instead noticed the sensation in my body, the feeling of tension. I let it be. I breathed into it. Every time another worry or thought appeared I took a big deep breath and let it be. After an hour, this feeling, this knot, started to slow, and ease. Breathing and mindfulness helped. Now the knot has become a thing that passed. Just like Christmas will.

A wise man — Martin Stepek, mindfulness teacher and founder of Ten for Zen (among other amazing things) — once said to me: “You have just each moment. In that moment, if we have awareness, we have choice.” It lives, pinned up in my kitchen, right where I can see it, to remind me that awareness is our key to being present.

I chose to let go of my Christmas knot and breathe. I hope you can find some time to breathe, find awareness and chose things that are good for you over the coming few weeks.

….

At Wee Seeds, we’ve gathered some #toptips together from other parents to help your little ones find some calm throughout these busy festive times, which you can read here.

What are your top tips for helping your wee seeds find some stillness at this time of year? — share them with us on social media. Find us on our Instagram (@weeseedsmeditations), our Facebook (Wee Seeds) and our Twitter (@WeeSeeds), or email us at weeseedsmeditations@gmail.com